Police have revealed the shocking revelation that the Easter Bunny is wanted for the suspicion of murder after the body of Abby Honeyflower was found butchered to death, her body left under trees at Land of Rainbows.
Owner of Land of Rainbows Kahvy Smith said he was shocked that this happened at his normally peaceful parkland, “I really don’t know what to say. The last thing I expected to see while on my morning run was to find a dead body here. Why Abby of all people? I don’t think I can wear these tight short shorts while running ever again.”
Distraught, local crazy woman and Abby Honeyflower’s partner, Sheree Honeyflower spoke briefly to the media about the murder of her lover.
“Why? All Abby does is visit places to take photos. She wouldn’t hurt anyone. If anyone finds that bunny, tell him I have a hot pot waiting for him on the fire.”
Former Honeyflower residence
Investigating Police have released security footage of the Easter Bunny in what looks like a serious case of stalking Abby Honeyflower. One photo allegedly shows the Easter Bunny carrying a weapon said to be an axe in the house where Abby Honeyflower once lived.
Police ask people not to approach the Easter Bunny on the belief that he have more than cocoa hidden on his body. Detective Fox said, “Please, whatever you do, do not approach the Easter Bunny. You never know what nasty surprises he may have waiting for you.”
“The worst of the worst evidence will remain under secrecy for the benefit of a fair trial. The photos we are releasing today have only been released to allay conspiracy theories of what really happened. It’s clearly evident that the Easter Bunny has been visiting homes and places of interest to Abby Honeyflower.”
The Easter Bunny blending in as he stalks his victims
Spokesperson of the Cult of Cacao called on the Police and public to stop this witch hunt of the Easter Bunny, claiming that the bunny didn’t do it and that they have evidence leaked from the Police investigation showing that not only did the Easter Bunny not commit this horrendous crime but someone has set the bunny up.
“How dare they accuse our esteemed leader of killing this woman!”
“The Easter Bunny is kind and loving. He would never do anything like that and I challenge the Police to prove that this is even the real Easter Bunny but a maniac in a bunny suit disguised as our beloved bunny.”
“For this reason, we are releasing photos leaked us which the Police were hiding. Photos showing that Abby Honeyflower was murdered by a lover, the Easter Bunny whose so gay that he leave rainbow paw prints everywhere he goes.”
Media sources tell us that Abby Honeyflower’s partner, Sheree Honeyflower has gone into hiding. Some say that she’s not hiding but seeking solitude away from prying media and that the Police know where she currently is staying.
Friend of the Honeyflowers, Ripper Gigglesnort requested that the media give some space, “Go fuck yourself ya mangy bastards!”
Below are images taken by parkland security footage of this grisly murder scene.