On this day, the eighteenth of May a long long time ago when people had nothing to eat but lumps of coal soaked in dirty rum, an intrepid young sailor self appointed herself to the rank of Vice Admiral and set sea where she would explore the vast seas of Planet Linden.
Vice Admiral Sheree Honeyflower bought a might ship(err… tugboat) and set sail with her technologies that only existed by stealing(sshhh, acquired) bits and pieces to chug chug chug across the waters.
Day and night she tugged on, her red ensign that was
stolen borrowed flapping in the salty air breeze, passing lands already known and claimed. The self annointed Vice Admiral needed something to present to avoid a special room with a ball and chain attached to her ankle as tempting as that kink appeals to her other people, many whom she knows.
Over many moons this lone
thief Vice Admiral explored tirelessly, seeing sharks and sting rays (along with that sexy mermaid who almost got eaten) and other amazing marine life but even feisty mariners need to rest and so Vice Admiral Honeyflower went on smoko.
Being the committed sailor doing the hard slog, she always remained dressed in her full kit regardless of what others may have to say who all mysteriously disappeared at sea. Nobody knows why. Their whereabouts is as mysterious as the flat earth visual of Planet Linden.
Then after many many many moons and investigations into missing sailors, Vice Admiral Honeyflower spotted new land to
steal for her own good(sshhh, stop hurting history lessons) to explore and possibly claim new uncivilised unclaimed land.
*Note: At some point the narrator disappeared without trace. Investigations are proceeding despite investigators also disappearing at times
Vice Admiral Honeyflower stepped onto new lands claimed previously unhabited. Looking over the fruits of her island now claimed for her own benefit named Mine!
It is said that Vice Admiral Honeyflower was approached by a native inhabitant known by conspiracy theorists as people who spend most of their hedonist lives in sinful sultry sleaze sanctified sanctuary.
This is all hearsay though as there is no evidence these people exist but those inhabitants at the Vice Admirals whim all swam over to sit at her feet at their own decision.