In a forced break from Second Life blogging with my gaming computer in for warranty repair, I thought I would write about being caught in a D/s relationship after reading a young woman’s account of how her and her boyfriend’s kink life was discovered by his mother and the ramifications.
Just in time for America’s Pride Month which is also being held in Second Life this week until the 24th of June, 11amSLT to 11pmSLT.
My first girlfriend and I were more than just close friends. We were lovers joined at both ends of the whip and bound by love. A relationship connected so intensely that we are still close friends today, serving each other as Domme and Submissive for much of our lives.
Without hiding details and over sharing, we became friends and lovers in our first year of high school where we met. Her parents were liberated while my family was socially conservative with an expectation on girls to remain pure while boys were expected to learn how to be men by having as much sex as they could with other women.
We were a few months in self discovery where I lay on my bed, completely naked with soft material strong enough to bind my wrists and ankles to my bed without hurting as I wore her boxing gloves to further disempower me. I remember the darkness from closed eyes and being unable to speak for the gag as she sat over me when I felt a sudden foreign presence as if it barged in.
I opened my eyes to see her, my girlfriend watching me with her cheeky smile on her face. And then I looked over to see him. My brother closest to my age, three years older than me standing there with an expression saying that this was the last thing he expected to see. His younger and only sister strapped to her bed, gagged under her girlfriend’s whim.
I always feared this but she didn’t know the fear in the back of my mind, coming from a free thinking sexually liberated household. To her credit, she stood up and walked over to him and spoke with him with the ruler in her hand that made the clearly visible red lines on my thighs. She stood there confidently wearing nothing but her underwear as she spoke to him before expertly shooing him out of my bedroom and pushed my table against the door so we could be left alone where she made me yell and scream, knowing that my brother would have heard. As uncomfortable as this reads and felt, the natural domme shone as she put me through shaming that pushed both of us beyond our boundaries.
As it turned out, he was okay with this. As it turned out, he’s bisexual. As it turned out… I’ll mention this later.
We decided to take our dirtiest play to her home where I felt more comfortable, away from being further discovered by those whom I feared would find out. Like my eldest brother who had already said many times that homosexuals should be put in prison or killed to keep the streets clean. It was the 1980’s after all.
While nobody ever walked in on us at her home where she lived with her mum and dad, there was one day when her mum asked us to sit with her for a chat while nobody else was around.
We sat at the dining table where there two bags placed there for us. They were gifts. I heard her mum tell us everything in the bag was for us and that she knew we were having sex. I remember hearing her words to her daughter, “We know you’re having sex because we can hear it. There’s a gag in there for (my name) so we can get some sleep at night.”
I was very nervous. I was feeling scared while my girlfriend emptied both bags as her mum and I sat watched, explaining what some of the items were. Many nights were spent there. I must have spent most weekends there.
Being able to explore in the safety of her parents home was something I cherish to this day. As well as the not so safe things we did elsewhere.
My home was violent for me. It was dangerous and I suffered the repercussions for being who I am, I never let my girlfriend know much of, and none at all with her family as I found a middle aged lesbian couple who could truly understand and guide me(not sexual). They give me the life tools I needed to survive.
This young woman whose blog I read today, her boyfriend dumped her at the behest of the bullying of his family when his mum came across their shared kink blog while her mum gave her all the love and support she needed. Her mum loved her and gave her the trust she needed, just as my girlfriend’s mum did for her.
It’s hard to know who to tell when your home environment isn’t safe and those you turned to for help all rejected your pleas, only to leave you experience further abuse.
In hindsight I wish I told my girlfriend what happened to me instead of turning cold and unresponsive to her. Her parents would have helped as well just as the mother of the young blogger did. I could have told her as I did later that it was my brother who did not mind us being together who assaulted me under the orders of our mother for being me.
I said earlier that the bond between my girlfriend and I was strong. We drifted a little until I told her what happened to me. We reconnected as friends. I fell in love with another woman who I spent a lot of time in our Owner/Kitty relationship until I panicked. Yes, healing takes time. But my girlfriend from high school supported me and soon I was owned by her once again but not as girlfriends.
She was my Mistress.
She owned me.
I was hers.
I had my own bedroom in the home where she lived with her husband and children. She had places to keep me when we visited their semi rural property on acreage. I was under ownership lasting well over a decade.
Even when I moved away to live in a fake marriage with a man who was hiding in his closet but we did care for each other, she was still my Mistress and if she booked me a flight to stay with her, I was on that plane bringing only what she told me to bring. Often nothing but the clothing I was wearing. The clothing she instructed me to wear.
She released me two years ago due to my health and risk of injury to myself if we were to continue. Our love for each as friends today is stronger than it was as lovers in high school. She’s part of my first life’s inner circle of friends of my girlfriend and mine. A tight knit and kinky as latex, leather & lace sisterhood of lesbian and bisexual women.
D/s relationships come in many forms. A D/s relationship may be soft and sweet through to as punishing as a mutual consensual agreement between all parties may be. Some involve sex, some don’t. Some are purely psychological/emotional while some are as physical as they wish it to be.
I enjoy serving two Mistresses in Second Life whose personalities and styles are far different from each other. I love them both. And not least, I love my love, Abby in Second Life. I live such a complicated life in the eyes of many. And no, people who see this as me being someone whose constantly horny are incorrect. Please don’t judge what you don’t understand.
If you should learn that someone you know is involved in a D/s relationship, don’t prejudge them and don’t intrude. Ask if you may ask about their D/s before you ask and please keep it respectful. None of this is abusive as long as there is mutual consent and each party respects each other’s boundaries.
And if you or you know someone who are young, be they in their early teens or even early twenties, I urge you to be open to them. Self discovery can be painful. Especially in this era of rising global religious fascism, it is important to be inclusive.
If you are in Second Life, please consider visiting this year’s Second Pride event currently held until 24th June and donate as little or as much as you wish or can afford. This year’s Second Pride event is fundraising for The Trevor Project. Partying 11amSLT to 11pmSLT.
And remember to get kinky!
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