Second Life & Critical Sexual Matters

The laws in most civilised nations oppose the act of sexual assault as lawful hence the criminality of these actions and yet there is a serious issue of ‘rape culture’ in our real daily lives which carries into activities on the internet.

By rape culture, I don’t mean photos of sexual nature to advertise a product but the culture of people, men mostly who believe that they have the right to fuck anything that moves if it catches their interest. If they aren’t given permission, there are those who just take as if they have right of ownership of the body they crave to fuck even if it means an act of sexual assault.

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This isn’t a topic which would normally discuss on my blog. A topic covered by webspelunker‘s blog post where he covered sexual harassment after a discussion with Katelyn who like many women on Second Life, don’t feel comfortable in roaming freely through its virtual world. It was however after a friend’s recent experience and my latest experience that I decided to write something on this critical issue. This isn’t about accusing all men of being rapists. It’s about pointing a predominantly male activity of treating women as their prey and  latest sexual conquest.

One of my friends on SL remains logged on almost 24/7 so that her avatar is with the avatar belonging to her Mistress who also remains logged 24/7. When they sleep, so do their avatars. Sadly, one day my friend goes into her account to find in her local chat, evidence of  a male avatar who invited himself into their home to have sex with their sleeping avatars. No permission sought. Just invited himself into their home, their bed and raped their avatars. Rape is the correct term here.

tanyas-coffee-shop-london

So I sit here pondering about my recent experience. It’s been just under three years since I joined Second Life where I quickly learned where to visit, where not to visit and the signs to see in people so I can avoid them and places before anything happens. For refusing to cybersex with men, I’ve been called names like, slut, whore, bitch and cunt. I’ve been told that I deserve to be raped and left to die or be killed. I’ve been told that I should be bashed, have my bones broken and more all for refusing to fuck some sexually frustrated guy with no social skills nor concept of what is right and wrong behaviour.

My latest experience is the one to affect me for it was committed by a friend who I trusted. A man who knew my history of being physically and sexually assaulted in my teen years for my sexuality. Something which he apologised on behalf of his male gender for being dicks. And yet he attempted this himself to prove to himself that he is a man, a heterosexual man because he experimented with homosexual sex and enjoyed it.

His masculinity was up for questioning. His sexuality was for questioning. The conditioning by society and religion to be a certain way or you were bad was judging him, so he had to prove to himself he was a man. A guy whose heterosexual, a straight as straight could be.

We had this discussion where I tried to reassure him that it was okay to enjoy sex with another man and that as he is attracted to women doesn’t make him gay but if he does enjoy sex with men, he’s probably bisexual which is all good. There is nothing wrong to be afraid of and that he would have my support.

He asked sex of me. Knowing that as a woman who is attracted to other women, he wanted me to let him fuck me so he could prove his manhood to himself. I said, no. I meant no. I reinforced, no. I was expected to let him use me like some whore of little value.

I did not think.

I did not think. I did not realise that sitting with him, spending time with him as emotional support was going to see me become a victim of virtual sexual assault that is not role play.

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I sat with him naked. Both of us were at a naturist beach. Mistake number two was trusting him around me while we were both naked despite being at a naturist venue at an estate which recognises nudism in its true values, not as a sex hotline.

Yet there we were. Despite having had told him that I was not interested, he emoted that his hand was moving along my body and squeezed my breast, naturally as a man does.

No, that is sexual assault. If we were at some venue with the them of rape role play, it would be a different story but we weren’t. After I left, he asked if I didn’t like him for being who he is as if he was some victim. Yet another person who commits the act then claims that they’re the victim.

About four weeks later there is no apology. Nothing at all.

After seeking a little wisdom from someone, I chose to unfriend which is a shame.

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If you see a woman, she isn’t automatically for you. Nobody is. And there are women who need to hear this message as well. Nobody is in existence to just take and fuck to feed your narcissism.

Sexual liberation is not permission to rape. Keep your hands off. Keep your stupid fucking mouth closed. Learn how to respect. You wouldn’t want your mother, wife, daughter or other women or anybody at all close to you to be treated like this. Or do you?

 

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